50/50

"I flirt with suicide
sometimes kill the pain
I can always say
'it's gonna be better tommorow'"

-Korn, Falling Away From Me

So the first half of that lovely lyric, is absolutely correct. Somehow just thinking about ending thing's is enough to numb you to everything, it's a nice little break from the everyday misery that is life, if only temporary. Though recently I've rediscovered a old friend who I had given up on, one that always made thing's better no matter how bad thing's seemed or were. Sadly this friend is a double sided one, he can help you alot...but also cuase lots of potential problems...but ya know what? I don't care anymore. If only for a few hours this friend can make thing's better I'm willing to deal with whatever problems he causes. So, without farther bullshit, I eagerly welcome alcohol back into my mainstream existance.


Maybe now I can finally convince myself that maybe, just maybe "it's gonna be better tommorow"

Course if that doesn't work, I guess I can always go swimming in the middle of a thunderstorm and for some odd reason for the need to carry a giant metal pole during this, hey, it's not suicide if nature does the deed, right?

wish I could say I was just kidding, but this is a place for no lies.