12 Hours In

Twelve hours ago, I started a process. I will not sleep, nor eat until this is over. I will be fixed when this is done, or I will have totally lost my mind. However, I'm feeling hopeful, this is progressing rather well...but now I guess I should explain.

Here goes.

The only way I can figure to deal with my issues, is the way most people deal with them, to face them. For reasons beyond my understanding, I cannot face them under normal conditions.

So...I will force myself to face them. Through starvation and sleep depravation, I will face them, these conditions trigger certain survival genes in the body...they allow the mind to think in new ways, to function in a different manner.

In another 8 hours, I will begin the next step..I will unleash all the pain bottled up inside...so let me apoligize now for anything I may say or do that offends anyone during the next few days, but I must become Slaiyen.

I will be free, or I will be lost.

I won't stutter on the edge no longer.