A Tale of True Horror.

Once upon a time in a city near you, there was the most amazingly attractive woman the world has ever laid eyes upon, her beauty by contrast made Helen of Troy look like a steaming pile of half solid half liquid fecal matter, you know, the green kind.  This woman, we'll call her Gail, had everything she ever wanted whenever she desired it, money, fame, respect, power, a totally kick-ass silver plated Spork, but the one thing no matter how hard she tried to have she simply couldn't gain by any means at her disposal, and folks...she was totally hot, so yea, she could get ANYTHING (lucky bitch) was children....so one night she made a deal with the Devil to allow her to bring forth her spawn into the world.  Normally, Lucifer is content to simply take your immortal soul for such an arrangement but on this particular night he was feeling extremely naughty even for himself, and decided to allow Gail to keep her soul in fact he didn't ask her for a damn thing in return.

A few weeks later Gail discovered her wish had indeed been granted, she called everyone and spread the good word, leaving out the whole deal with the devil becuase well, she's hot....she can't be associated with someone that's not, right? It's against the hot people's code of hot conduct.

The month's flew by and Gail felt simply invincible, she still had all her considerable talents, wealth, fame. & hotness and she had totally ripped off Satan, she felt like a Goddess.  Finally the night came, and the child was born the doctor upon seeing the child, who looked like a rather large hairless pointy-eared Rat, simply could only come up with one thing to say, these words shall forever live in infamy "Ah Shit-Fuck."

Gail gazed down at her zon loving--WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!?! She burst out and quickly broke down into a stream of tears & deep quivering sobs.  Thinking the worst had happened and Satan had indeed totally fucked her over she cursed his name begging for him to replace this defective child with another.  No Ladies & Gentlemen, This is highly unusual but the dark prince agreed to this additional request on the condition she must keep the first as well.  Well, Gail simply did not see another option...besides she could always kill the ugly fuck later anyway so she agreed without much distress.  

Moment's later she felt a new wave of contractions come along, totally surprised as she didnt think another child could just have flash-grown inside her now cursed womb but she went with it anyway.

She looked down this time, with every intention of slamming her legs shut as hard as possible multiple times to crush whatever little bastard spawn emerged this time....but she found herself so totally thrown off by the sight of a giant dildo exiting her vagina that she just sat there watching completely dumbfounded.

Now Gail....simply could not live with not one, but two totally disgusting creatures claiming to be from her loins so she threw herself off the highest peak she could find and hit the rocky bottom with a splat......but for some unknown reason she failed to die.   The Dark Lord is a Cruel Sadistic Fuck, Folks It is Unwise to Anger Him.  She awoke several weeks later in a hospital room completely bandaged up, months went past before they finally removed the bandages when they finally did the doctor, a completely different one from the one that brought her demon spawn into the world, expecting to see the most attractive women in the world in front of him, totally nude now without the bandages, was stunned and simply managed to stammer out "Ah Shit-Fuck" before grabbing a scapel and cutting his own eyes out.

For you see folks, Gail had been transformed by her ideal into a one-toothed big sandbag tittied hobbit walrus, with the powerful aura of cat urine now totally entrenched into her skin & breathe.

The Moral of the Story Folks?

Never Breed With A Steepy.