Just Like You

What do you do when your backed into a corner? or you feel like you have nothing left to give? or you believe there's no reason to go on? or you simply cannot take this anymore?....For most people at this point there's really only option and it's usually a pretty nasty surprise for those around them, but this is me....and I'm not going out like that.  Why? Becuase I think there's still some small level of hope? Fuck that, there isn't any.  But this is me...and I make my own mold, just becuase life may own the board...but this is my fucking game.....so I'm gonna do the only thing I can...I'm gonna take this misery you call life and well, I'm getting even.

I'm done being the victim.

I could be cold..

I could be ruthless

You Know I Could Be Just Like You

This Reality is Ending

"My soul is in a coma
and none of my friends can tell
That I'm reaching out and getting nothing
This is just a story of a broken soul"

.....this is all together to true.  I'm living in a dream world without a dream and all I wanna do is scream out, break through the fourth wall and find some fucking meaning in all this.  I'm so far beyond sick & tired of the same old shit it's maddening.  The only distraction from the ever constant droning of senseless numbing are the intermittent waves of sadness & pain with a hefty side of depression. It's kinda funny though how underneath it all there's

the persistant little question that just refuses not to be aske, in case you give a shit, the lovely question in question happens to 

be "What's the point?" anything you accomplish, doesn't mean shit. It doesn't matter if your fucking President or CEO of some 

fortune 500 company, if your some big shot fucking athelete or musician it just doesn't fucking matter. If you died today, 

everybody would cry but a year from now only a few will ever remeber the day, a year or two from then and even the most 

loyal forget and it just gets progressively worse the more time passes. Bottom line? it doesn't matter who you are or what you 

do, your gonna end up rotting in the ground all alone and hollow, dying in enternity anyway.

"I'm God."

Totally pointless post here to confound you and amuse me, but thats just how it needs to be.

During a recent firefight in Karkand this crazy ass nub felt the need to declare "I'm God."

Naturally I felt the need to respond with "Your God? Good, Cuase I have a list of complaints."

Shortly afterwards I pwned his ass with me MG36 and proceeded to teabag "God" repeatedly.

Thus,

I pwned & teabagged God.

Which makes me his God.

Nub.

A Flashfire Furnace

I'll see myself

for what I truly long to be

to become this

I'll destroy myself

to rise above the flames

of this burned out soul

I'll never erase 

these blood soaked ashes

from the stains of my life

Untill it burns all away

The Torches' smoldering

A day for self-immolation

Pour some gas let's light the match

I'll burn today to save tommorrow

Crawling in the Dark

"Show me what it's for

Make me understand it

I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer"

So for a while now it seems as if I've pretty much put about everything on hold.  It's like living, but not really living seems to me I find myself waiting for something, maybe even someone, to come along.  and just make everything have a meaning again ya know? just something to give me a reason to want to do something. I'm not sure why but somehow just living for yourself is all so hollow, there just isn't anything special there that really makes it worth it, right now living to live is just like waiting to die.  It's pretty pointless and it's really kinda boring.  

"But in the end

It doesn't even matter"

Life is often referred to as a journey and rightly so, each decision leads you down a different path sometimes to reconnect with the one you walked before, sometimes to go in a totally different direction.  Sometimes you have no choice but to travel alone for a while, even if there's people all around you.  Somehow walking through the brightest of days alone, just can't compare to trodding in the heaviest of storms with someone right there trodding with you.

I Feel Better Now

The door opened a chime chimed a clerk looked up to see his last sight, the hilt of a dagger protruding from his forehead.   By the time the first droplets of blood began dripping down the clerk's face another blade had found it's way into the chest of a costumer who had previously been checking out the latest overly trendy cell phone's, it was as this poor bastard's body hit the ground that the first horrified scream rang out.  Within seconds a half dozen more followed the first, amplifying as another dagger lodged into a second clerk's arm with a sickening thud-crack as it both embedded and broke the bone underneath.  

It's a small store, cramped...little cover, no where to run no where to hide, but more importantly only one way in & out.  A perfect death trap.  No one was sparred, within two minutes all three clerks as well as the afternoon's customer's lay stacked in a pile behind the counter, their blood telling the tale of why this tragedy had to happen.  The writting was literally on the wall, "Fix Your Fucking Internet, Or This Is Only The Begining." 

Circle

Your name means shit

welcome to the mad cat death trip

with words of anger and failure

demented actions of holy vengeance

We are the lost & the chosen

still completely frozen

were living for death

with each & every breath

the harder you strive to live

to faster you slip towards death

the drums beat to fast

for this enduring feeling to last

we struggle as we lie

just to die as they cry

this life is a lost cuase

so here's to the baton pass

maybe the next gen's power trip

will bring salvation to this one last step

Music = Orgasm

I have tour dates!

Looks like Asbury Park is the closest they're coming this way, but there's an added kick to this now...not only do we have Breaking Benjamin, Seether & Three Days Grace on the billet...Apperently Red shall also be there....can we say friggin sweet?

Papa Smurf Who?

Now you all know mixing beer with allergy meds can be a fun experience, well here's an interesting twist that makes it not so much fun.  Try it with the nighttime formula.  You enter what I like to call "beyond comatose" mode and become for all intents and purposes just a giant paperweight with a mildly amusing view on things, now this is a serious abuse of proper alcohol consumption as you simply cannot fully enjoy your currently inebriated state to it's potential.  Suffice it to say I was a little concerned to see how fucked up I'd become after only four drinks and a mild dose of what I had believed to be normal everyday OTC benedryl, It couldn't be my tolerance had slipped to such lows that this was all it takes to totally lay me out could it?...Should my tolerance every drop to that point I will have no choice but to drown myself in a keg becuase lets face it, those that cannot carry their liquer are hopelessly outclassed by the rest of of the drinking world.  Got home after nearly falling asleep not once but a dozen times and just out of drunken stupor decide to check the packaging....and to my surprise I discover, in very small print as if they didnt want me to read this "Nighttime Formula", Sweet, my tolerance remains intact.  Now I can begin plotting the demise of the corporate nutjob that felt the need to all but hide the all important information from me,  But Alas as my revenge is in it's brooding phase I slip into blissfull sleep state featuring dreams, or nightmares depending on your point of view, of Legion's of Smurf's marching on Washington singing "It's A Small World"...I kid you not folks, you can't make this shit up.  Now if you think that's cute, your gonna love it as I go into details.  Each and every one of these lil blue fuckers was armed with a pitch fork, had it's teeth filed down till they looked like vampire fangs...and not just the canines, each tooth...and they all had this blood shot crazed Ralph Wiggum on crack expression burned into their face.  Now how many of you would do your best to get away from such creatures? Not me...no, It occured to me that if I could control such an army I would be invincible.  So I grabbed a thing of cheese, now what would possess me to think these horrible abominations would want cheese I simply cannot fathom, and sure enough...they did most definatly not want cheese.  But it did seem to remind them they were hungry as when I tried to give one some cheese it took a chunk out of my arm....now it gets twisted, I woke up at this point sweating and totally confused, grabbing my arm only to discover it's fine...ok, bad dream right?...Alright, go grab a drink and a quick bite to eat before heading back to sleep.....and I pick up the dream exactly where it left off.  The little blue fucker is standing there chewing on my flesh so at this point I did the only rational action, I bite his ass back.  Now only in my fucked up head could smurf's bleed anything but blue blood, sure enough he bled alot, of powdered sugar.  Now ladies & gentlemen up into now this story has not crossed the line as to where I would classify it as weird, but after this....all I can say is what the fuck.  Soon as that sugary blood started pouring out, a dozen of this blue bastards brethren jump on him and start feasting on the super sweet sugar, consuming their little buddy in the process....and they grew, this is where I gave up my desire for global domination and simply decided saving my own ass was the best choice of options at this point so in following my grand scheme for self preservation I bolted faster then Micheal Jackson dodging another child molestation charge.  I end up miles away within mere seconds looking down from my nice little hiding abode watching as the blue spawn of hades turn on each other, eat, grow, and repeat the process into only one remains (keep in mind I hear the Highlander theme song playing over loudspeakers during this) and mutter to myself "There can be only one..."  And sure enough after a few more moments there is only one...but now he's a hundred feet tall and his white smurf hat and white smurf pants have turned red as he is now the ultimate Papa Smurf.  Then you hear a roar.  As always must happen when you have a incredibly large creature, another incredibly large creature must appear to combat it.  Godzilla is here.

Yes, that's right...God fucking zilla, aproaches his now arch nemesis Giant Evil Papa Smurf (We'll Call Him GEPS From Now on) They do the classic stare down, a giant tumbleweed blows past even though there's no wind to blow it.  They start btheir face off, Godzilla swinging his old skool spiked tail at GEPS's head, GEPS sidesteps and predictably grabs Godzilla's tail thus using it to swing Godzilla around in singles before throwing him into a building. Godzilla gets back up, does his breathe thing Geps gets burned, Geps is pissed now, he extends his hand, gives Godzilla the giant blue finger, and summons his giant Pitch Fork to his hand before hurling it into Godzilla's chest piercing his heart and killing him instantly.  Geps Is Happy.  He does a crazy ass Irish Jig even manages to use his evil smurf powers to create himself a giant glass of beer, he downs it....and drops dead.  A little flower falls out of nowhere and lands on Geps's chest and I wake up completely and totally confused.

The Moral of the Story?  Giant Evil Smurf's Kick Ass?

Coby Dick, I Love You

So I'm pissed, Apperently the lucky fuckers in St Paul Min, not only got to see Papa Roach AND Hinder on stage together (I hate all of you bastards that attended this show now) but they both fucking covered Born To Be Wild.  Lucky sons of bitches.

But in keeping with my lovely wtf-vibe I got going on here, I give you all Coby's latest blog entry. But Since I Feel like being crafty, you'll need to highlight it to read :-) Haha.

July 20, 2007 @ 10:35 PM

JUST GOT OFF STAGE IN ST. PAUL MINNISOTA THE SHOW WAS FUCKING OUT OF CONTROL!!!! I SANG BORN TO BE WILD WITH HINDER TONIGHT. ITS KIND OF WEIRD SINGIN ON STAGE WITH ANOTHER BAND. BUT TO GET BACK TO MY SHIT I THREW UP IN MY MOUTH DURING THE SET TONIGHT. DISGUSTING I KNOW. I WENT TO WALMART EARLIER TODAY AND GOT ME AND MY SON RAZOR SKOOTERS SO WE CAN RIDE THEM ON TOUR HE WILL BE OUT WITH ME FOR A COUPLE WEEKS!!!!! YYYEEEAAAHHH!!!!  HE IS TOTALLY STOKED TO BE HERE. OTHER THAN THAT SHIT IS COOL RIGHT NOW CANT REALLY COMPLAIN ABOUT MUCH THE SHOWS ARE PACKED AND WE ARE KILLIN IT!!! OH YEAH AND I LOVE THE MOVIE OFFICE SPACE ITS ONE OF THE FAVORITES AROUND HERE LATLEY. FUNNY SHIT. TOBIN KEEPS FUCKIN WITH TRYIN TO CONVINCE ME NOT TO TRIM MY PUBES BUT TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I LIKE IT NEAT DOWN THERE. THE BLOG IS IN THE GUTTER JUST WHERE I LIKE IT. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

This WIll Confuse You

Alrighty, let's do something different for a change, instead of bitching ranting or just generally being depressing I'm gonna make a positive post! (....No, seriously) Why you may be thinking? Tonight I feel good, so good in fact nothing anyone can do nor say nor think can bring my mighty battleship of joy down, feel sick yet? you should this kind of good mood is what I'd normally refer to as "Ignorant Cheerleader Happiness", cuase folks we all know ignorance is bliss but apperently that rule doesnt apply right here right now so Muhahahahahahahha....hahahha, Oooh yea.....Run for the hills folks cuase I've gone and checked into the Bleepy BLoopy Haha Motel.....Wow, Im gonna hate myself for this post tommorow.

Like (Yea)

Frakking Awesome!

This Fall Folks, Seether, Three Days Grace & Breaking Benjamin.  They hit Sayreville I'm all over that like peter north breaking in a new co-star.  

You Will Come Too, Well some of you are coming, the others (you know your worthless) will pussy out or say it's not their scene (you emo fuckers).

Holy Shit.

It's 11:59 pm.....and I'm actually tired. Nice. Decent Sleep Schedule Restored.

That or it's the heat.....ah well, fuck it.

Aren't you happy you wasted time reading this?.....I know I'm glad I did writing it.

-Pwned.

Columbine Revisited

Alright, now this is probably not the smartest thing to post where anyone can simply stumble across it.....but to hell with it, this needs to be said.  You may have heard about two kids who were arrested for planning a lovely Columbine anniversary shooting, All I can say is they were fucking morons, much like the two bastards that carried out the original attack and I'm saying they were morons for doing it I completely understand their reasoning even though I myself would choose a.....lets call it a different approach but I call them morons becuase well, honestly they fucked up.  Big time.  Their largest bombs which were placed in the caf and would have gone a long way towards incrwasing the body count were defective and failed to detonate that was mistake 1.  Mistake 2, their positions were flawed....Honestly their entire operation was a fluke and it's only due to sheer surprise that they managed to kill anyone.  Sad thing is, In all of five minutes I had conjured a plan that was far superior in every way estimated body count for my method would hit nearly a hundred, a far more effective statement in truth.  Now, becuase of a good chance I'll get arrested myself for mentioning any details as to my plan on here I won't....but if you wanna know, you know how to find me.

When I Get My Hands On You

Society a losing game

So conflicted it's gone beyond lame

A curse in this a plague in us

I'm aching to set it free

So I've got a bullet for me & a bullet for you

A noose and a limp for the rest of them

There's a cleansing in death this world badly needs

To rejoice in the rebirth there must first be sacrifice

Death & Destruction Just Another Form of Construction

Fuck this fate this world's filled with hate

Greed & Lust these have become our fate

Seperation between heaven & hell no longer exists

Demons & Angels All Dwell Among the Living

Even There So Called God Can't Be That Forgiving

Ripping this place straight from fame

This world is dead and only I can see

So I'll cut the limbs from your tree

Embrace the flames of pain & disgrace

Die clean don't be a hypocrit

Semper Fi

Every so often I find myself revisting this idea, and every so often I generally talk myself out of it.  But now the more I consider it the better it sounds, what could be better then getting payed to kill? Granted there's always the chance I'll get hit and wind up dying in a pool of my own blood while some hot piece of lead has taken up residence where sopme vital organ used to belong, but hey it beats dying 80 or 90 years from now old, useless, wearing adult diapers and eating jello pudding cause my teeth are long gone....I'll take option A anyday over that, least there's some honor in dying in battle.  Figure I'll give it another week or so just to reconsider this logic and if it's still making sense it's time to look into thing's in detail, see what kind of signing bonus they're doing these days

Yea, for those that didnt catch on, I'm talking about the good ole USMC.

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows.

To annoy those of you who are addicted to Harry Potter like Junkies to crack, I HAVE THE NEW BOOK.  Yes, I have the seventh book, which isn't even out yet.  Now Drool!

If you want it and your cool like that you know how to contact me.

Music And Billy Bob Thorton

Isn't it amazing how no matter how bad shit is going for you music can turn it right around if but for the briefest of moments, no matter how much you've been shit on, how pissed off you are, or how much you just dont fucking care anymore for that 3 or 5 or 7 minutes that songs playing it's pure magic it can transport you almost instantly to a place where you were happy once long ago, or even just a few days before.  But of course, just like any magical cure for whatever plagues you, it has it's dark side too.  For those of us that have experienced true, completely raw emotional pain there are song's that can quite simply break you in fucking two, I personally can't listen to Mr Brightside, or without fighting back tears, has nothing to do with the song or it's meaning of course, just that emotional connection to it.  Bitch of it is, I truly enjoy the song but these days it's something of a curse to listen to.  If your sitting there saying I'm wrong, Your either emotionally dead or full of shit, or maybe your just one fo the lucky that hasn't yet felt suffering.

Anyway, seems recently my posts have taken a more bitter tone and perhaps this is true, but to be perfectly honest I don't care.  Untill I found a reason to start giving a shit about people's perception of me I'll be as bitter, mean, sadistic, and just generally wierd as I fucking want.

By the way, I love you Billy Bob Thorton.

Belkin is the Devil.

5:50 am, nearly 9 hours after this project began....Windows is working smoothly, still patching and updating shit...but its working, Xubuntu's installed and rocking smoothly....but the snag, and of course there is one, apperently my network card manufacturer (Belkin) has opted NOT to create a linux driver.....so I can't use Xubuntu to go online with....and that was the whole reason to go with a dual-boot setup so I could eliminate windows except for gaming.....Blast You Belkin!....Thank god for hackers though, seems there may be a way to force it to run on the windows driver with a little bit of trickery...but we'll save that for another time.

I Killed Windows

Oops.

Currently, it's nearly 4 am and I've spent the last 6 hours attempting to restore my PC to something close to working order and it's not going well. Apperently it's a bad idea to go ahead and say fuck it and attempt setting up a dual-boot XP/Xubuntu setup without some sort of magical backup that works 100% of the time. Now I'll confuse you all, I started by installing Xubuntu, repartitioning (this is evil) my drive to allow Xubuntu room to breathe freely and everything went fine, at first. I get 94% through the installation process and it just stalls, what the fuck? Well ok, fine maybe it just doesnt like me so I kill it and attempt to go back into Windows.....Windows doesnt load. Fuck. Ok....Try Xubuntu again just to see if the first go was a fluke...same issue, fuck me with a pixie stick. Again, try XP...no go....so I break out my trust Restore CD's thinking ok, I just lost alot of data...but at least I'll have windows up and running in an hour, Everything goes smoothly during the restore....untill it's time to reboot I reboot....Windows...does not come up...nistead im greeted with a black screen blinking these menacinf words at me "Boot from CD/DVD:" .....so I check my BIOS settings just to make sure the restore process didnt change my boot options, it did, fucking thing. So I change the primary boot device back to the hard drive expecting the issue to be fixed, it's not. Same problem. And everyone wonders why I dont wanna do anything involving computers for work, I fucking hate software.

*Update*

Got Xubuntu Installed Finally!, and Windows is up and semi-running also...lost alot of data, damnit but the thing thats got me most worried is getting the damn wifi drivers working right....they're always a bitch.

For You Sam

It's been a year since you went away

Your still thought about each & every day

The thing's we'd give to see you here

Each & Everything we all hold dear

The world seems a bit darker on this day

Just another reminder life doesn't go your way

The joy you brought & the smiles you taught

Still live in everyone who's heart you touched

I never much cared for heaven & hell

but now that your up there I hope it's going well

the angel's will sing and your friends will cry

becuase this was the day that Sam died

Bleeding Hostility

Your bloods pouring out on the floor

Till the day there's your life's a bore

Your judgement is in pending

Every memory is deleting

You can run all you'd like

the Reaper's chasin you on his bike

One day when we meet again

I'll turn your face into sin

Your morbid lies

Shall be burned on your insides

Your mouth will bleed

Cuase every word you say is a disease

 

There aren't words that will do

To describe the amount of hate I have for you

There's nothing you can do nothing you can ever say

That'll make this rage go away

From this moment on

With every new waking dawn

I'll wish this curse on you

I hope you bleed

Take these razors these knives you'll need

Now run away go do your deed

Die Alone Down On Your Knee's

I'll be watching saying Bleed Bitch Bleed

You say you fucked up and try to repent

Then you turn around and say you didn't do shit

Fuck you you fucking ignorant ass bigot

For each and every lie

Go eat yourself another peice of pie

I hope you choke

On some random dude's pearly spunk

Salt, The Foundation

January 3rd, 2007

This day, started out much like any other but by the end of it two major changes had occurred.  Have you ever had your heart ripped out right before your eyes, then watched the person doing the deed cast a spell and turn it into glass before finally slamming it to the hard floor just to then stomp and grind the shattered peices into the ground? No? Well that's thing number one.  The second change happened several hours later, when the pain transformed into full out rage.  One day, one event, that's all it takes to turn your world around, upside down and send it spinning all over the damn place.  The story you will find here in time is fictional, inspired entirely by this day.  The anger, pain & intensity however is not a work of fiction and had I not found myself in time thing's could have lead to this, Unfortunately for the guilty this did not come to pass but karma works in strange ways so in time perhaps they shall still get theirs.

Disclaimer:

Those of you who saw the original bulletin, that was nowhere near as graphic as this will be.  If you have a weak stomache or easily have nightmares, this is not the story for you.  For those that didn't see the original bulletin,  If you don't like torture, voilence, blood shed and suffering I have only these words to offer

If this disturbs you, then walk away.

Project Rock Salt

A few months ago, many of you may have seen a certain bulletin of mine on myspace that went into pretty good detail about how *someone* would do some pretty fucked up, slightly twisted and yet totally entertaining actions to a certain person to whom which will will not mention, if you don't remeber what I'm mumbling about, it's the rock salt bulletin (This is where you say OHH!....Aaah shit what now)

Well....I've decided to turn it into a little short story over the next week or so, Stephen King, your gonna need a new job soon son.

I figure if fucked up shit like thats gonna happen to me.....I might as well use it to scare the living shit out of someone, wouldn't you agree?

Anyway, more to come later but first to rip off jigsaw,

Oooh yes, there will be blood.

Partial Rant!

Have you ever really taken a step back, just to get a better understanding of your current situation? I'm betting you most of you havn't. See, the grand majority of you are blessed with the ability to act without analyzing every angle of every decision, you lucky sons of bitches. I don't have that luxury for whatever reason I'm wired in such a way that leaping without looking is nearly impossible and let me tell you folks, it's not as much fun as you might be thinking, can it prevent me from making mistakes? It should, but no the only thing it does do, and this it does very effectively is cuase mass amounts of frustration.

This simply sucks.

The problem with critical thinking is just that, it's critical and most of the time anything critical requires a significant portion of time & resources to accomplish successfully. Now I'm generally a pretty patiant person for the most part, I will put up with shit alot longer then damn near anyone else will, but I simply cannot remeber where I was going with this rant any longer.....(insert ironic comment here)

Well folks, it seem's I've managed to derail my train of thought.....and due to the excessive amount of ground laying I did earlier in this post without actually getting down to the core of what I was gonna say I've left myself without an escape rope to figure out just what the bloody fuckersville I was ranting about.

Somehow, this is your fault.

This Moment

"You will remeber this moment as you dig into me
And from your smile now it seems as if you liked it
You better cherish this moment as you dig into me
You'll never get another chance at this"

It's funny how sadistic people really are underneath the image they craft. What's even funnier, is the effect contact with these people can have on you, in the best of conditions it'll leave your perspective of people and their motivations cloudy at best at the worst your left a fraction of what you once were....these are the people that deserve to burn relentlessly in the deepest fires of hell. Those of you who have had the unfortunate luck as to encounter these types of people should really give a listen to the new Disturbed track "This Moment" on the Transformer's soundtrack, listen & love it becuase it's the truth, you know if you've been a victim of one of those people, there's no attempting to lie to yourself or ignore it so listen and feel the pain again let it build into it can get no worse and in that moment you'll be immortal.

Guess What?

Chicken Butt.

Yea, you fell for it....Nub.

However since you were so nice and willingly fell for this ancient little gimmick I feel I now owe you something, so I leave you with this little party favor

http://www.illwillpress.com

Enjoy.

4:08 am

Passed the fuck out shortly after 1 am......current time is 4:08 and already, I am up.  What The Fuck? This is crazy weak in the most uncool way, or as Mr Northstar would say BANE. Yes, that's right I stole your word, what now?  Apperently whatever dream I was having was alot more fucked up then usual, I was only only sleeping for not even two hours and I awake fully refreshed, wide eyed and jacked up like a god damned terminator in overdrive.  Whatever's the cuase, it's awesome now if only I can find a way to bottle it...

Hey You! God! READ THIS SHIT!

The meaning of life, is to die as angrily and frustrated as is humanly possible.  This is God's grand design, yea he's a bitch like that(that fucker).  In case your wondering how I know this, me & God have a very special relationship you see, I take a step forward and start to accomplish something and he throws his holy lightning bolt right up my ass for my effort.  Thus I have devised a master plan to prevent him from any farther smiting on my behalf, I stopped caring.  What will be shall be, and if it's gonna be negative why shall I bother expending energy & resources to try to make it positive?  I'm doing playing by God's rules, cuase they just suck.  What I wouldn't do, However to get my hands on the Spear of Destiny and jab that bitch into God's immortal ass (Hey, it killed his son, why not him right?....yes I know his son was mortal at the time, so what?)

Now some of you might be thinking something along the lines of "God's gonna hurt you for your ignorance" yea? fuck that that son of a bitch can't do much more to me one way or another, what's he gonna do? kill me? Bring It God.

Yes, you read that right, I'm calling God out.  It's what? 10:03 am now? I'll be here all day God, so get your ass down here and we'll have ourselves a little rumble.

A Tale of True Horror.

Once upon a time in a city near you, there was the most amazingly attractive woman the world has ever laid eyes upon, her beauty by contrast made Helen of Troy look like a steaming pile of half solid half liquid fecal matter, you know, the green kind.  This woman, we'll call her Gail, had everything she ever wanted whenever she desired it, money, fame, respect, power, a totally kick-ass silver plated Spork, but the one thing no matter how hard she tried to have she simply couldn't gain by any means at her disposal, and folks...she was totally hot, so yea, she could get ANYTHING (lucky bitch) was children....so one night she made a deal with the Devil to allow her to bring forth her spawn into the world.  Normally, Lucifer is content to simply take your immortal soul for such an arrangement but on this particular night he was feeling extremely naughty even for himself, and decided to allow Gail to keep her soul in fact he didn't ask her for a damn thing in return.

A few weeks later Gail discovered her wish had indeed been granted, she called everyone and spread the good word, leaving out the whole deal with the devil becuase well, she's hot....she can't be associated with someone that's not, right? It's against the hot people's code of hot conduct.

The month's flew by and Gail felt simply invincible, she still had all her considerable talents, wealth, fame. & hotness and she had totally ripped off Satan, she felt like a Goddess.  Finally the night came, and the child was born the doctor upon seeing the child, who looked like a rather large hairless pointy-eared Rat, simply could only come up with one thing to say, these words shall forever live in infamy "Ah Shit-Fuck."

Gail gazed down at her zon loving--WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!?! She burst out and quickly broke down into a stream of tears & deep quivering sobs.  Thinking the worst had happened and Satan had indeed totally fucked her over she cursed his name begging for him to replace this defective child with another.  No Ladies & Gentlemen, This is highly unusual but the dark prince agreed to this additional request on the condition she must keep the first as well.  Well, Gail simply did not see another option...besides she could always kill the ugly fuck later anyway so she agreed without much distress.  

Moment's later she felt a new wave of contractions come along, totally surprised as she didnt think another child could just have flash-grown inside her now cursed womb but she went with it anyway.

She looked down this time, with every intention of slamming her legs shut as hard as possible multiple times to crush whatever little bastard spawn emerged this time....but she found herself so totally thrown off by the sight of a giant dildo exiting her vagina that she just sat there watching completely dumbfounded.

Now Gail....simply could not live with not one, but two totally disgusting creatures claiming to be from her loins so she threw herself off the highest peak she could find and hit the rocky bottom with a splat......but for some unknown reason she failed to die.   The Dark Lord is a Cruel Sadistic Fuck, Folks It is Unwise to Anger Him.  She awoke several weeks later in a hospital room completely bandaged up, months went past before they finally removed the bandages when they finally did the doctor, a completely different one from the one that brought her demon spawn into the world, expecting to see the most attractive women in the world in front of him, totally nude now without the bandages, was stunned and simply managed to stammer out "Ah Shit-Fuck" before grabbing a scapel and cutting his own eyes out.

For you see folks, Gail had been transformed by her ideal into a one-toothed big sandbag tittied hobbit walrus, with the powerful aura of cat urine now totally entrenched into her skin & breathe.

The Moral of the Story Folks?

Never Breed With A Steepy.

Regrets

Ladies & Gentlemen, don't ever blow off someone you truly care about for someone else unless your damn sure they're worth it.  I have made this mistake, probably on more occasions then I care to remeber but this time was truly one of the worst mistakes I have ever made, period.  See there was this truly amazing girl I went to high school with she had a thing for me and vice versa but for reasons we won't get into right now we just never got together.  Anyway she was quite possibly the only person I trusted in those days the only one that would always listen, one of thew few people I've ever met that came anywhere near close to understanding me.....but after school ended we lost touch for a good while as happens to most people, this folks, was mistake number two I should've made the extra effort to keep in touch with her and I failed too.  Ended up getting back in touch with her about a year & a half ago or so right before her 21st bday so ok, perfect right? made plans to go out to the bar with her and what not........the day comes around and my g/f at the time who was sopposed to be doing something with her friends...which fell through, again....wants me to come see her so me, being a complete fucking idiot I make the change and go see her instead....Ladies & Gentlemen, this mistake was the final draw and I quite simply shall never forgive myself for it.

Tried a couple times to make plans with her a couple other times but there just wasn't a time match to plug everything together, another failure on my end.....Anyway, a couple months later she was in maine with her family on vacation and, ya know I still don't know what happened exactly...and I don't think I really wanna know, but she went to sleep one night and the next morning just didn't wake up.  The first anniversary of her death is next week...so people, do not make that mistake, it haunts you.

Holy Genocide

If you woke up one morning in heaven, standing before the maker himself and said maker told you your world had become tainted beyond any effort to cure it......and he asked you, Would you be the one to purge that world of it's corruption, disease, and greed what would you say?  Would you step up and be the one to end your race? To kill off everyone and reset the playing field?......Could you be the one? and more importantly could you live with yourself afterwards?

Suicide is Cool.

So I got this grand brilliant totally kick ass idea tonight, wouldn't it be uber sweet if you could repeatedly off yourself in an office setting? wouldnt be even cooler if you could get your co-workers to help you in your self-destructive efforts? yea? Well now thanks to the good folks at [adult swim] you can! Introducing the totally twisted morbidly fun web game 5 Minutes To Kill Yourself!.

www.adultswim.com/games/fiveMinutes/index.html

Love For Sale

So apperently some people's idea of "love" is to just repeatedly buy useless shit for someone.....these people, could not be any farther from the truth if they traveled to the end of existance.  Love, is not material you can't simply throw money at someone and think that means you love them it doesn't.  It's rather insulting actually, don't get me wrong sometimes there's nothing wrong with buying a little something for someone...but when you constantly do it you first, insult the person's intelligence by thinking little trinkets can blind them to your faults, secondly if you feel the need to waste time & money and insult your partner all at once, at the very least choose something thoughtful....maybe something they might actually like. 

But back to my original argument.  These people in my experience, are not capable of truly understanding or even feeling love it's like they just play the game for the sake of playing they don't enjoy a moment of it becuase their dead inside, consequently they don't really know how to treat people.  It seem's they're completely unable to trust or respect anyone, themselves included as a result they're never really have a real functional relationship.

Kinda sad huh?

Better to be Crazy, Fucked Up & Alone, Then With You.

Title pretty much about just says it all now don't it? But since it's just so much fun to go into crazy, fucked up details, I will.

I would rather be all alone on a isolated smoldering corner of hell without anything to do, anyone to talk to, or anything to look at besides flaming corpses and rotting souls, then be with you.

Frankly I still don't know why I wasted so much time thinking there was the smallest chance you'd ever, oh I dont know, stop being the biggest bitch in the universe but I soppose I should thank you in a way, cuase now I'm completely immune to guilt trips, bitchy rants, and let's not forgot that your constant bitchy nature has this break up process alot easier since I simply don't care about you enough anymore to miss you any, Kudos to you, You've managed to make another person stop caring about you, you get a cookie.

For Never & Ever

I wonder why some people, just can't ever seem to take a hint.  You'd think that when you cut off all contact with someone that just maybe they might get the idea that their no longer welcome in your life...but there's always gotta be that one person that just can't understand or except this.  And you want to inflict serious damage on them for it, for fucks sake if you've already had two chances and totally managed to completely utterly obliterate them both to tiny little smithereen's, what the fuck makes you think I'd want anything at all to do with you anymore? You had your shot, and guess what you fucked up, twice, so fuck you and deal with it.

"I'd do anything to get you back".....bullshit, you don't fucking care about anyone but your damn self.

"Your the best thing that ever happened to me" yea, ok what the fuck ever, if you really meant that then why fuck shit up? twice.

"I thought I could get over you but I cant" oh yea? how's your two boyfriends doing?...yea, you had a real hard time with that one didnt you?....slut

In case this person still doesn't quite just get it, maybe this'll help.

Crossfade - So Far Away

I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
(I've been changin' but you'll never see me now)
Now I'm blaming you for everything

No more holding it in
How many years can I pretend
Nothing never goes the way it should
No more sitting in this place
Hoping you might see it my way
Cause I don't think you ever understood
That what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away

[Chorus]
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything

No more waiting for the end
Of every day that I will spend
Wishing that I only had a choice
No more pushing you away
Cause I will be busy watching things going my way
Never looking back on this anymore
Because what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away

[Chorus]

I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
Now I'm blaming you for everything

I'm so far away

Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Hey hey I've been saved
With sun shining on my pain
Getting me through this day
Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Feels so good to say

[Chorus]

Now I'm blaming you

I'm so far away

Why are the good ones stuck with shitty people?

So there's this girl who I just can't seem to get out of my head, and it's quite possible she just might be out of this world....but of course since nothing good ever happens to me without their being some bitch of a snag to complicate the shit out of it, in this case she's got a b/f.  Normally that right there would be enough reason for me to just back away, but the fool she's dating just doesn't respect or trust her any and she deserves so much better then that, seems right now she still think's there's a chance that he'll wake up from his self-centered trip and start treating her right, but I've seen the type before they don't change a bit, not once not ever so for now I'm just gonna play it cool, eventually she'll get to the point where she just doesnt wanna deal with his shit anymore...though I'm hoping for her sake she pulls the plug before that....once you get to that point it's done some serious long-term damage.  

Ah well....time will tell

Might As Well

Unwritten Law - Up All Night

Can we talk about automatic satisfaction
Sittin' back relaxin' floored
What's wrong with kickin it
When you're bored and lit
Lets smoke some cigarettes
And catch up on the back porch
Fire up another roach
We don't need a rest this is just a test
Cuz we're alright, we're up all night
To see the sun come up again now
Just one more time no reason why
To see the sun come up again.
The more we try to change
The more we stay the same
We're caught up in the game and now
Just like empty picture frames
So now were to blame
Said we were gettin down, on genesee and fountain
Smelled another mountain now
If you aint gettin down, you'll come around
And were alright, we're up all night
To see the sun come up again now
Just one more time, no reason why
To see the sun come up again.
So lets smoke some cigarettes
And catch up on the back porch
Fire up another roach
We don't need a rest, it's just a test
And as the world spins we'll watch it with a grin
And look in as the day begins
Well now it's on again, it's dawn again. Yeah! Yeah!
And we're alright
We're up all night
To see the sun come up again now
Just one more time, no reason why
To see the sun come up again
Yeah we're alright, yeah we're alright
Yeah we're alright, up all night
Yeah we're alright, yeah we're alright
To see the sun come up again now!