Suicide of love took away all that matters

Firstly, with this entry I'm going to ask that no one actually read it unless the time comes, in which case you'll know. Secondly, should you choose to read it without the triggering event taking place you may regret it.

To prevent accidental reading I'll insert some clever reading material to distract you here:


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


In case you opted not to listen to my request, the following is basically my preemptive suicide note, if your actually reading it after the fact well, I'm sorry...



Now that the disclaimer's out of the way, we can get to the reality of things. It's becoming more & more obvious to me that I simply am a disaster in progress so in case the worst happens, I hold none of you accountable, the majority of you have done nothing but try to help I appreciate the effort and I thank you all, but some thing's once set into play are unavoidable.

Here I shall attempt to answer in more detail, the question many will be asking; why?

I could go on for hours on this, but it all pretty much boils down to this: My Life, Is A Void. And always has been, for quite some time I was simply ignorant of this fact but this is no longer the case. That ignorant quite simply was the only thing keeping me alive, had I realized what a pathetic shame this....life....was before I never would have made it this long. I've had it with it all, I don't see any hope for fixing things, and I'm pretty sure they cant be fixed anyway.

Next, some of you will wonder how anyone could be so selfish as suicide is a completely selfish endeavor. And your right, but understand this...I've spent the few years forcing myself to keep pushing on....for all of you, and I'm sorry but there's only so much I can deal with..I tried, I'm still trying but honestly I'm just getting weaker and weaker and the final falling simply can't be far off......So that said...I don't want any fancy funeral.....burn me & shelve me, maybe even sell my ashes on ebay that'd kinda be morbid, but it's me....no getting dressed up, no speeches no bullshit....my only other request, play Suicide is Painless then go out & get drunk. Those of you close enough, to actually be considered my friends, I love & miss you, perhaps if i'm wrong and there actually is an afterlife we'll meet again someday....the rest of you, you never made the effort to know me, so I wont waste the effort saying goodbye.


----------------
Now playing: Stone Sour - Made Of Scars
via FoxyTunes